is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
