if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
