My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
