Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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