found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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