That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
