i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
