Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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