using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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