her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
