so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
