If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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