If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize