you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
