Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
