At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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