Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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