Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
