You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
