I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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