Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
