About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize