dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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