If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
