he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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