Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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