Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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