i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
