You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
