she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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