Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
