But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
