Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
