we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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