Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize