she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
