I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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