the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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