I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Who died my cat blue again?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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