So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
