Me too!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
