ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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