Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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