I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's never too late to be topless.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
