Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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