i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
