You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
These tits shall not be calmed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
