if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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