I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
