I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
