yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
