Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
