just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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