i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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