that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
please don't ironically join a cult
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