You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
