I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
