that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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