it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I had to cum in my sink.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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